On July 22nd, my mom breathed her last breath.
Sure, I am a little sad even if I am only the middle child.
I will miss our weekly calls where she spoke and I listened. Truth be told, it was getting more and more difficult to have a meaningful two-way conversation with her due to her advancing age. By no means, however, was her decline anything foreboding, but just the normal slippage consistent with an 88-year-old. This was a little sad to see.
She went into the operating room with such optimism and confidence that she would survive a treacherous but doable open-heart surgery just as the doctors and literature said she would. Instead, I witnessed 12 days of gradual post-surgery decline as each day sapped and siphoned her strength and spirt. I squeezed her bloated hand and scanned her fading eyes while I urged her to not be afraid. I saw her fight and lose. This too was quite sad.
For anyone who knew my mom, however, it is hard to remain sad for too long for to know her meant you were invariably smiling, chuckling, or outright laughing. I know her soul will live on, as will most all of ours. For me, it is not a matter of religion, magic, faith, or mystery but simply cold hard common sense and logic. None of us, including my mom, asks to be born. Yet here we are. And almost immediately, we find ourselves struggling to survive, grow, and flourish. Overcoming the struggles none of us asked for or signed up to, means relying on the goodness, kindness, and grace of others to assist, guide, nurture, and love us. In turn, most, but not all, of us respond and even reciprocate. In other words, I believe we are born because we are needed. This is Divine. This is Purpose.
My mom lived to be needed and responded to the human condition like it was her Bat signal. She never missed an opportunity to be Human. Anyone fortunate enough to be within earshot and arm’s length of my mom’s ever present good cheer and spirit, knows how quickly and generously she offered her time, assistance, money, and humor. Even when you didn’t want it !! This was her purpose and how lucky she was to have figured it out.
My mom was a force to be reckoned with. To know my mom was to know, with immediate effect, the awesome power of a tiny body and enormous heart.
To get her back, God had to stop that enormous heart and to do so meant bucking the overwhelming odds in her favor. Any other affliction meant she would have just kept going and going. Perhaps in God’s plan it was she who would shortly be the needy one which would have broken her heart in a much uglier and drawn-out manner. Perhaps this was the gentler way.
Either way, dearest Josephine, it’s time to take the vacation you’ve earned. There may yet be another assignment somewhere in your future because God recycles the good ones…I am sure of it. But in the meantime, we will need to learn how to get along without the strength of your loving embrace. Don’t be offended if we do find that way. Everyone ultimately does.
I have no doubt you’ve already been welcomed in the place where souls go and yours has been illuminated for a job well done. You were a dynamo, mom, and I thank you for having me without my consent.