Susan and I have just returned from a 7-day, all inclusive, magical tour of the exquisite Caribbean Isles to celebrate Susan’s XXth birthday. We joined the well-heeled cruisers aboard the Seabourn Odyssey offering the tantalizing promise of bathing in crystal blue-green waters and immersing oneself in the colorful and rich culture of the native peoples (with none of the hassle of actually living there).
Our debarkation point was Bridgetown, Barbados. And, from there, the itinerary promised an un-paralleled excursion of the 7 most beautiful islands in the West Indies. Truth be told, these were the “revised” 7 most beautiful islands, because after Hurricane Irma, the original 7 most beautiful islands now look like the Normandy beaches shortly after the invasion and are currently “off-line” and will not be suitable for visitation until sometime after 2025…if all goes exactly as planned.
Nonetheless, in the coming days, I will publish an island by island account in an attempt to capture the sights, sounds, pageantry, and odors of this majestic part of the world.
But, first, a few general notes and observations.
- For the purposes of a more authentic Caribbean experience, I prepared for our cruise by eschewing the popular travel publications such as Conde Nest and Travel + Leisure and focused, rather, on the alternative press, the internet, and my very own personal experiences while visiting Yankee Stadium in the 1970’s. My relentless pursuit of the “road less traveled” was intellectually stimulating for me but caused lots of late night consternation between me and Susan (i.e. “it’s supposed to be fun”, “it’s a vacation, not a political course”…blah, blah, blah.)
- The first thing one notices, as soon as you get off the ship, is the oppressive humidity. This soon gives way to the sensation of your skin being microwaved by a thousand suns. This is nothing, however, compared to the assault on your olfactory apparatus once you begin to meander the quaint side streets. The Brits refer to the West Indies, collectively, as the “Windies” and now I know why. Note to the novice traveler, bring plenty of Rhinitis medication because without it, you will sound as if you are auditioning for the part of Felix Unger.
- While English is spoken on most of the islands and by most of the people, the dialects and accents can be difficult at first. To avoid being misdirected or overpaying, my helpful hint is that the words “Tree” and “Three” have the same exact pronunciation. If you heed this simple rule, you’ll thank me later.
- The Seabourn cruise line is terrific. They offer a smaller-ship experience which means more intimacy, more personal attention, and significantly more rocking. The passenger profile is about 1/3rd American, 1/3rd British, and 1/3rd “other”. Age profile is about 85 years old with a distinct smell of money. The wealthy Brits and Europeans deport themselves with class and distinction, the Canadians believe they died and went to heaven, and the Americans spent most of their time complaining to management describing most of the ship’s amenities as “unacceptable”.
- A few additional words regarding the American cruisers. The Floridians believed they had the same things back home, the Californians were chilled and laid back, but wondered why they traveled 4,000 miles when they could’ve been in La Jolla, and the New Yorkers lodged several lawsuits.
- This was the run-up to Mardi Gras and the island people are all eagerly awaiting the raucous party. The parades and pageantry are similar to what I remember in Brooklyn, only without the stabbings and shootings. Each island prepares and celebrates differently. For instance, in Granada, it is a year long preparation, whereas in Tobago, where residents smoke Cannabis through a 160- proof rum spiked bong, preparations have yet to begin. In British territories, all residents freely partake, but in the French former colonies, residents must remain inside until the Heads of Police, Military, and Parliament have completed their exclusive shopping spree (colored beads are tucked under the counter and the vault is opened for the diamonds and emeralds to be displayed for sale).